Ye Sasquatch Is My Friend
by Steve Lohse

--It is not an easy thing to carry a backpack full of the drugs from Chainsaw’s apartment on Electric Avenue all the way to Franklin Street across town. It is not an easy thing ever. And especially not in the drowning-you April rain and even more difficult if you are Bunny Marquardt. If you are Bunny then you stand six foot five with a body like a seven foot eggplant covered–on-the-head by a shock of black hair. Except Bunny Marquardt is just the man Chainsaw needs to take the drugs across the towne because Bunny is so lumbersome and strong-looking as to just dare anyone to mess with him, especially anyone who didn’t know him, and because Bunny can be trusted with a backpack full of the drugs because Bunny does not take the drugs, does not ever, and has not ever. His eyes have the fleshiest lids anyone has ever seen and his bulbous jowls meld directly into his shoulders, while somewhere in the lower half of his face his mouth hangs partially open, revealing a disjoined order of dulled or broken yellow teeth, his lower lip extending horizontally outward as if he were sucking on a massive plug of tobacco. But he is not. It is true that Bunny Marquardt looks like someone who has taken the drugs, and many of them, except that he is relaxed. He is never nervous or edgy. The only emotion he ever admits is the occasional grin, like an infant letting gas. As said, Bunny does not take the drugs, he in fact does not even understand what they are, or what they mean, or what they do, or why his backpack is so heavy. But he knows the value of fifty dollars cash and so that is why Bunny Marquardt is the perfect man for Chainsaw to send walking across the towne in the drowning-you April rain.
--“Fifty dollars,” says Bunny, all of his teeth showing.
--“You got that right,” says Chainsaw, pale and small, a rice-paper man sitting across from Bunny’s massive darkness and girth. His small arms are like pool sticks coming out of a faded red Smoka-Bola T-shirt. He wears long, loose jeans and never moves his legs. He pushes the greasy noodles of hair from in front of his glasses and they always fall right back as he reaches down to take a drag on his cigarette, or put it out, or light another one. His teacup ashtray has filled to the brim and spilt all across the coffee table. Bunny sees it. Bunny notices. Bunny notices that every time he goes to Chainsaw’s apartment almost all of the lights are turned off in the living room. Bunny thinks how most of the light for them to see with comes from other rooms: from a small overhead light in the kitchen, another in the bathroom from behind a half-cocked door, and the living room is lit with dancing electric light from the television set that is never turned off. And the stereo is playing a slow guitar jam but no one listens. And the poster above the couch of Bob Marley is curling down at the corners but never falls off of the wall. That poster has been peeling off the wall for years, Bunny thinks, while Chainsaw is flapping his lips, flapping his lips.
--Bunny?
--“You know where Little Jeff lives right Bunny?”
--“By the Taco Bell, ina the- house”
--“Okay that’s good. Now tell me how good you see this morning.”
Chainsaw pulls up his hands slowly and fans two twenties and a ten in front of Bunny’s eyes.
--“I see it good Chainsaw.”
--A beat passes- nobody moves, nobody smiles.
--“And all you have to do is walk over to Little Jeff’s and then come back. Just like last time. And the money is all yours. I’m gonna give it to you.” Chainsaw speaks all the while steady and concentrated, never letting Bunny’s eyes drop from his face.
--Okay Bunny? He nods
--Yeah Okay.
--“Bunny do you know why I ask you to do this?”
--“No.”
--“Bunny do you know why I trust you so much?”
--“No.”
--“Come on, Bunny! Think about it.”
--Chainsaw looks Bunny hard in the eyes. And then Bunny gets it.
--“I’ma your brother.”
--“That’s right Bunny. I trust you because you’re my big brother. I know that you can do the right thing.”
--“You gotta hat, Chainsaw?” Bunny says, standing up in the middle of the unlit room. “It’s raining real bad.”
--“I’ve got a hat for you.”
--Chainsaw gets up and goes into the closet. He returns holding a black, short-brimmed hat with a bright, grinning Mickey Mouse embroidered on the front of it. He shows it to Bunny, riddling him with pleasure.
--“Mickey Mouse,” says Bunny, flashing his yellow teeth again.
--“That ought to keep you dry,” says Chainsaw, and helps Bunny put it on. “Yeah, brother, you look good in that hat.” Then he opens the door and the room is flooded with a cold white light from outside and the clean taste of falling rain. He watches Bunny trod off, the giant backpack on his shoulders, down the cement stairs and out of the courtyard. He waits an extra minute, looking through the lot and across the street. Then he shuts the door and goes back to sitting on the couch.
--Just then Chainsaw’s roommate Billy who has been sitting alone in the corner this whole time, lets out a short, loud laugh.
--“I don’t know who’s dumber,” Billy says, and snickers under his breath. “I have no idea.”
--“Shut up right now,” says Chainsaw. “Don’t be such a moron.”

--Bunny does a lot of walking. All the time and all around towne. So he knows all of the shortcuts. After he leaves the apartment building and walks down the sidewalk for a couple blocks he pushes his way under yellow construction tape and across a building site. He moves so as not to fall into the concrete pit but not caring if he steps in the thick black mud, which soon covers his boots and pant legs. When he steps in a puddle so deep that his foot disappears he looks to the road and thinks about the solid pavement for a moment. Then he pulls up his leg and the mud farts before letting him go. And he goes on. He crosses the site and then comes onto another street and he moves on down, slowly, not making many bodily movements except to keep walking as cars blow past him occasionally, their bodies a dirty gray blur and the rainwater splashing outward from their wheels like fountains. Bunny walks a while then crosses over into the city’s central park; soon he disappears into the thickness of tall, swaying trees and some of the rain is blocked from falling. Bunny decides to walk on park trails for as long as he can because the passing cars had been scaring him some and he does not feel like being seen.

--Pretty soon Chainsaw picks up the telephone. Billy has moved into another room, leaving Chainsaw there all alone to look at the television. He dials the number, smoking.
--“Jeff?” he says into the mouthpiece.
--“Yeah, what’s up?” The voice is low and tired, bothersome.
--“You home?”
--“Yeah I’m here.”
--“All right. I sent someone. Don’t go anywhere.”
--“Is it sketch?”
--“No, its cool. Just be ready, all right?”
--“Same same?”
--“Yeah.”
--“See you,” Little Jeff hangs up his phone.
--On the other end Chainsaw waits a moment holding his receiver in the air. He watches an advertisement for home insurance with dull interest. He drops the phone when the disconnected dial tone begins beeping. Billy walks back into the room. “Dude, Chainsaw, You know where all my mags went from the bathroom?”
--Chainsaw shakes his head. Billy looks at Chainsaw on the couch and then continues to the window. He puts his fingers between the blinds squints, looking out- through the parking lot and across the street.
--“Which van was it you were talking about?” Billy says without turning around.
--“The same damn one, the white one, on the other side of the road.” Chainsaw acts annoyed. He wants to make it clear to his roommate that he will be finding a new place to live very soon. “What the hell Billy?” There is a sudden urgency in his voice. “Don’t you see it?”
--“No,” he says, reaching into his flannel for a cigarette.
--Chainsaw gets up quickly.
--“It was there this morning,” he says. Billy backs off to use his lighter and Chainsaw looks out the blinds. The sound of an ambulance enters the apartment from the street and then disappears. Chainsaw is looking all over. “Shit,” he says, drawing out the first letter. He pulls his fingers from the blinds and they snap back together. “Fucking Bunny.”
--Billy starts laughing again.

--Bunny has walked far enough into the park that he can’t hear the sound of traffic anymore. He enjoys the sounds around him: the pattering drops of rain falling on the trees, the chorus of blowing branches, the steady trod of his boots on the gravel. Up much further at the end of a long straightaway, tunnel-like through the forest, a large man is standing on the trail and seems to be waiting for him. Bunny then realizes with much mental force that he is hungry; that he hasn’t eaten for several hours and he feels like having a cheeseburger. Then the storm breaks all around him and every tree trunk groans in the sudden wind and increased downpour. Bunny keeps going. When he gets farther up and closer to the man, he is feeling lightheaded. His clothing has been soaked through and he starts to shiver. The rain starts to fall so hard that through the showering of it, the splattering of mud is all that he can hear and the sky is getting dark much too early. He keeps on, dreaming of cheeseburgers. And when he trips on his own foot, sprawling himself face first onto the gravel, he has to push himself up and feel the pain in his chin before he realizes what has happened. The backpack is heavy. His face is covered in mud. The man ahead of him has disappeared. Bunny goes on.

--Chainsaw is on the phone with Jeff again.
--“Has Bunny got there yet?”
--“Bunny? You sent Bunny?”
--“I asked you- is he there yet?”
--“Jesus, man! You sent Bunny!”
--“Yeah, I sent Bunny.”
--“On foot?”
--“Yeah.”
--“Well shit, man” Jeff draws out the first letter as well. “Fuck no he ain’t here yet.”
--Chainsaw hangs up his telephone.

--Bunny gets tired and sits on a tree stump. He can’t be sure if he can hear the sound of animals in the distance. Are there wild animals in this forest? Are they coming for him? Does he smell bad? Must be around four o’ clock. How long is this going to take? If he ate two cheeseburgers at the Burger King then he would still be hungry for dinner later on when he went home and his mother had the table ready. He would always be hungry for anything she fed him. He is motionless on his tree stump and can almost smell the Burger King. His head feels hurt and tired and he remembers that he is wearing a Mickey Mouse hat. When he touches the brim, a small stream of rainwater rolls off and down in front of him. Pretty soon he stands to his feet, groaning, and gets back on the trail which will take him right through the park and through the middle of towne and drop him off just a few blocks from Little Jeff’s house by the Taco Bell.
Bunny thinks about a taco. He thinks hard.
--“I should go after him,” says Billy, not laughing anymore.
--“What do you care?” says Chainsaw.
--“I just happened to find it in myself, you know. I better go find him.”
--“How would you find him?” says Chainsaw.
--“I can think like him. Figure out which way he went.”
--“Listen: Its my deal, okay?”
--“No really. I mean think about it- he probably walked down Electric Avenue and got scared of the cars. Then he cut across the building lot before the store and walked down Lakeway until he hit the park. Then he went into the park and walked all the way through. What is it- two miles through on the main trail?”
--“Listen, Billy, this is my deal. I sent him; if anyone should be worried then it’s me. Please shut the fuck up and let me think. I just wish I knew about the van.”
--“What if he got lost? If he walked through the park then he could have taken a wrong turn.”
--“He knows his way around, Billy. I told you that already.”
--“I better go after him.”
--“You don’t have to.”
--“Yep, I think I better. Its really for the best.”
--“I don’t ever get you, man.”
--Billy puts on his jacket and ski cap.
--“Billy?” says Chainsaw.
--“What?”
--“It’s getting dark.”
--“So?”
--“Bring a flashlight.”
--“Right.”
--Billy jumps out the door and then Chainsaw picks up the phone. He mutters: “Asshole,” as he begins dialing the number.

--Bunny has gotta be getting out of these woods soon. Gotta be. He usually likes the woods, the comfort of being alone, but now he doesn’t feel it so much. He can’t see very well through the dark, which dropped all around him too fast to realize, but he can feel the presence of a man walking beside him and so he stops walking.
--“Who’s it?” he says.
--There is a low moan. Guttural.
--Bunny then reaches out into the blackness and feels thick matted hair covering a strong frame, man-like and upright, but larger. Ten feet tall. He laughs. “Oh, its you.”
--He moves into the figure and is embraced, and then lifted, his huge, eggplant-shaped body pulled into the air like a rescued maiden. They drop off of the trail and into the brush and trees. Bunny is happy now; he forgets that he is hungry. There is a great stink, like a wet dog, coming from the body that carries him but none of it bothers Bunny. He is happy to be lifted and carried and laughs as he opens his wide mouth to catch the rain as it falls. He feels himself being carried at a swift pace, the easy stride of a ten-foot man.
--“Gotta go to Jeff’s” Bunny says. “Lets go to Little Jeffy’s house okay.”
--The carrier returns with an easy moan and snort and they continue, confident in their direction. And everything is fine until Bunny again hears the sound of mean animals from far off, getting closer. They are definitely coming for him now. Dogs. Or wolves. They are definitely wolves. Bunny says faster faster please and shuts his eyes to the broken streams of rain until he discovers himself on the ground all alone and the wild angry animals are right on top of him.

--Chainsaw is on the phone with Jeff again.
--“Listen man I want you to forget about Bunny, alright.”
--“What?”
--“He couldn’t make it tonight.”
--“What?”
--“You’ll just have to wait.”
--“Bullshit!”
--Chainsaw takes a pause. “Listen I’ve had about enough of your fucking attitude, alright?”
--“Fuck you.”
--“No fuck you. Just forget about everything. We’re through with this shit. You can take your crackhead ass away from me!”
--Chainsaw is about to hang up the phone but restrains himself.
--“Listen man,” says Jeff. “Did Bunny get lost? Do you need me to go find him?”
--“I told you. Bunny couldn’t come over. He isn’t going to come over and if he did he wouldn’t have shit for you.”
--“So he’s coming?”
--Chainsaw slams down his phone.

--Little Jeff is sitting alone on his couch in his house on Franklin Street all across the towne. His television is the only light in the room.
--“Bullshit,” he says and stands up to find his raincoat and hat.
--Now there are barking dogs all around Bunny’s head and his friend is gone. Bunny shields his eyes and ears with the barrels of his arms as the animals bark viciously, snapping at his face but not biting him. The steam of their breath is lit from the beams of four flashlights, held by men in black raincoats that cannot be fully seen. One of them shouts an order and the dogs heel. Bunny keeps his arms up and doesn’t realize that he is lying in the mud. He cries like a small child, the tears undistinguishable from the cold rain rolling down his round cheeks.
--One man says to the other: “This is the brother?”
--Another says: “Get the bag.”
--“This is the same one that left the residence?”
--“Hard to confuse don’t you think?”
--“What is wrong with him?”
--“Looks like he’s bleeding there.”
--“Big kid, huh?”
--“Looks like a giant wet eggplant.”
--Someone tries to lift Bunny by the shoulders and then finds help from someone else. Bunny refuses to move his arms or stop screaming and so a man takes a knife and cuts the backpack off by the straps. Bunny is dropped back onto the ground and smacks his forehead in the mud. He manages to quiet down and he hears the crackle and beep of police radios around him. He lowers an arm and can only see the line of dogs breathing and their mouths steaming, tongues dripping in front of him and the blinding bulbs of flashlights moving around, two of them directly in his face.
--“Lets see this,” says a voice and Bunny hears his backpack unzipping.
--“What’s in it?” comes another voice and then the shuffling of feet around the bag and everyone stops dead for a moment of silence.
--“Fucking hell,” says the man.

--Billy and Little Jeff, bastard sons of bitches, are in the forest. They hide in the darkness just off of the trail, seeing it all from opposite viewpoints. How hard should it have been to knock over a big dumb retard and steal his bag? This isn’t what they expected. They fearfully watch the men and the dogs and hear the unmistakable wails of Bunny on the ground. When the bag is taken and opened, they both choose the moment to turn around and run back the way they came cursing, occasionally falling in the mud.

--When Billy gets back to the apartment he shares with Chainsaw, he’s soaked through with mud and rain. He can barely speak he’s so out of breath.
--“Chainsaw!” he cries, “Bunny’s fucked! And you’re fucked! Hide the shit! Get out!”
“Did you find Bunny?” Chainsaw asks.
“Yeah, they got him, got the bag, all the shit!”
“Who got him?”
“Cops! Dogs! They got to him before I made it that far on the trail.”
Billy stands in the way of the television. Chainsaw motions for him to move aside.
“They didn’t get him for anything. Don’t worry about it. Were they hurting him?”
“Didn’t get him for anything? I fucking saw them man!”
“Were they hurting him?”
“I don’t know. I heard him crying some.”
“Alright, well don’t worry about it. Bunny’s gonna be fine.”
“What?”
“If anything, this just means that I was right about that van parked out there.”
“What about it now?”
“The same like I said before. They’re watching the place.”
“And now they’ve got Bunny, and they’ve also got a warrant by now to come search this place.”
“They haven’t got Bunny and they aren’t getting any warrant. All those fucks are getting is a lawsuit. I knew they were watching.”
“And you still went with it?”
“You fucking moron,” says Chainsaw, lighting himself another cigarette. “Do you really think I’d set up my own brother to get nabbed?”
Billy just stands there, confusion scrawled across his dripping wet face.
“I just wanted to make sure if they were watching. Now move out of the way,” Chainsaw motions with his hand. “Fucking Wheel Of Fortune is on.”

--Three officers have emptied Bunny’s backpack of the magazines that had weighed it down. Swank. Penthouse, and Spin. A fourth has been on the radio with his superiors, speaking with vague explanatory tones. They’ve all patted and searched the large frightened man and found thirty-five cents and a pack of Bubble-Yum. Two medics come running down the trail.
“This man should be covered up,” says a medic to a cop. “How could you let him stay wet? He’s freezing to death.”
“Sorry,” says the cop.
“Forget talking to him,” says another cop, “We’ve tried. He doesn’t know his own name.”
“Bunny Marquardt!” says Bunny.
“Lets get him out of here.”
Bunny is rolled onto a stretcher and lifted into the air and he hears the wheels lock beneath him. “Mickey Mouse!” he cries, realizing something. One of the medics looks down and picks up the hat. He drops it into Bunny’s eager hands. As they begin rolling him out of the park Bunny manages to quit crying and relax some. The medic asks him questions and he responds without any kind of hesitation or worry. The rain has eased down and the glow of the moon can even be seen from behind a thin patch of cloud cover. After they have gone a ways Bunny feels weightless again and recognizes the feeling of swift movement. A light appears ahead of them flashing red and white against the sides of trees. It is in that strange pulsing light, that, if only for an instant, Bunny sees unmistakably the ten-foot man running beside them, his long hair dancing as he moves. Bunny is happy again and he laughs as he opens his wide mouth to catch the falling falling falling rain.

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